Sunday, July 10, 2011

Top three on my Fight Club list

You know the deal.

To paraphrase from the David Fincher film based on the Chuck Palahuniuk book; if you could fight anyone you wanted, who would you fight?

My top three right now on this ever changing wish list are the following:

Chris Christi, Governor of New Jersey

The entire basis of the Bull Mongoni philosophy of Gunner Star, Action Figure, and Rise of the Bull Mongoni is anti-Bully. Nothing makes my blood boil more and sends me into a barbaric rage than the mere thought of a despicable bully.

Chris Christi loves to prove what a tough guy he is by turning down federal money for the state's crumbling roads and bridges, trying to bust unions, intimidating school teachers, and cutting funds for environmental safety and public schools.

But at the same time he insists on using taxpayer funds for personal indulgences by having a Homeland Security helicopter fly him and his and wife to a little league game. He also has a tax payer funded limo drive him and his wife less that one hundreds yards.Christi loves to choke money out of education and environmetal programs, but apparently the fat fuck has no probelm using state funds rather than walk less than a hundred yards across a parking lot like us common folk.

Chris Christi can be best summed up by his response to the same question by two different people.

When a poor little lady asked him why he sends his kids to private schools and keeps cutting funds for public schools, the rotund Governor exploded with a mean-spirited nasty rage.

"None of your business," he snapped in his best Tony Soprano fake mafioso tough guy voice. He practically tore her head off.

A few days later Christi was an in studio guest on the Morning Joe program on MSNBC. Let us give a Bull Mongoni salute to Joe Scarborough who went at him right away with the same exact question.

Of course Christi cowered like a baby. He was sweet as pie and actually answered the question in a submissive tone. Funny isn't it, how when a bully is confronted with a formidable foe, they always reveal themselves to be the coward, fear-filled, baby pussies they really are.

As for the fight itself,. I would take him seriously because of his ultra obese size. A big man, even when he is  soft as a jelly donut, can always be dangerous. So I would stay outside and pick him apart with quick strikes until he was exhausted. Then move in, finish it and make him cry "kregar" which is surrender in Bull Mongoni.

Donald Trump

What can I say about Donald Trump that was not already exposed during his recent fake Presidential bid. Of all the weak things and cowering to the right Obama has done, he almost made up for it all with by destroying Trump at that Correspondence dinner.

"The Donald" may be the most self centered obnoxious born with a silver spoon fortune in his mouth arrogant prick of our time, but hey, at least we now know that he has "always had a great relationship with the blacks."

As for the fight itself, I would take great pleasure in absolutely embarrassing this phony tough guy. It would be easy to end the fight quickly. One smack in the face and Trump would squeal and sob like the pussy coward he is. But I would take my time, make the fight last, and relish every second of humiliating this real life Gunner Star/Action Figure villain.

Donald Trump is a punk.

Dylan Ratigan, The Dylan Ratigan Show MSNBC

As any Fight Club fan knows, it is not about winning the fight. It is about getting to know who you are and how can you know anything about yourself if you never lost a fight. I learned more about myself when I got my ass beat in a 1983 brawl than I ever did from any victorious street fracas.

I like Dylan Ratigan. He is non-ideological and closer to my own political and economic sensibilities than any other cable news host. He is from the real world, and the world of Wall Street where I too spent fourteen years in an industry where someone would "cut your balls off" for a nickel. Dylan knows the real reason behind all of our problems. The game is rigged and that is why we are fucked. And the only way to get unfucked is to derigg the game, which will never happen.

Dylan Ratigan is the only cable news host who tells is like it is. He is also the only cable news host who could kick my ass.

He reminds me of one of my football coaches in college. Just by watching him you know this guy has some Bull Mongoni in him. This is not a man you want to piss off. . And he looks big too. My guess is 6'4" and maybe 250lbs.

He would be formidable indeed and I would enjoy the challenge of engaging him in a balls to the wall fierce battle of flesh and fury. And I would learn something about myself in the process.

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